Candle, Both, Ends, Burning

Ouch. The last few days have taken there toll and I'm a bit fragile now. Food and Superstars beckons!

Wednesday - Did my late night in work and it was alright. One mental customer but not too bad. Went over Andrea's gaff after work for a drink. It was a nice place and it was good to catch up. Didn't leave till very late though, so knackered the next day.

Thursday - Slightly hungover and a bit weak, I went into town to meet me Mum for a coffee and have a look around. Didn't really look round as gave up after 2 shops. Went home and had a sleep before going to football. One of the lads had a real bad injury and the noise it made was sickening. The poor guy went white as a sheet and I had to drive his car to the hospital for him!!Andrea popped over a quick chat later on and then promptly fell asleep!!

Friday - Work was harmless. Got home and had another little kip! Got ready to go out for the SLT night out and made it to Matt's house at about 7. Went to the Bay with Dolph and we also picked up Tim. Went to Rosie's bar and started on the wine and then moved onto Mama Almafi. We had a table booked but apparently we had booked it at the wrong restaurant so it all kicked off! Very embarrassing for us as we ended up being wrong! Great food though and loads of wine so I was well on the way. Went into town then and went straight to the Philly. Pulled almost straight away and was happy for the rest of the night! Was very drunk in the end and got to bed at about 3.30.

Saturday - woke up and went to pick up my coat from Matts house and then drove to Andrea's house. Went into town and had a shop and some food. Bought an Animal T- shirt and a wicked jacket top from Legends. Came home and watched The Bourne supremacy and got ready for quiet night in. Then Matt text me and before you knew it I was in town drinking wine in the Gatekeeper. For the second night running, I got very drunk on wine! The Philly was bouncing again and the wine flowed. A few other HBOS'ers were there, so we all had a drink and a laugh.
Andrea was in the Philly and ended up meeting her afterwards.

Sunday - Battered! Can't go on anymore, need sleep and food. Superstars is starting. Will put photos up from Friday later!!

Weirdness amongst the weird

Well, things certainly seem to change rather rapidly in my life at present. From being totally cool and set up with how my life was going. Slight twist!

Sunday - Felt rough as i dropped Josh to work. A double hangover for my efforts. Arranged to meet Andrea and sort out the bank stuff. Met in Bar Billabong and it was alright. Bit weird but wish we'd had longer to talk to be honest. After that she dropped me back, i watched The Bourne Supremacy. Class film.

Monday - Work was slow, probably cos i was so tired. But i just got on with it. A few people mentioned i was quiet but i just had stuff to get on with. In the evening, i was going to watch Deep Blue Sea but after shopping at Tesco's i just ended up chatting on the pc. andrew Weaver rang me which was cool. He seems to be doing alright back in Hereford! Get your ass back to the big C Weave!!

Tuesday - Work was ok. I was supposed to be in charge but i didn't have to do much. So, supposed to be going the cinema tonight. No idea what though.

 

Situations and concerts, Performance and cocktails

A lot to get through as I've been really lazy. Most of the week was fairly uneventful to be honest.
Monday - Half day, tried to get hair cut and failed. Watched Collateral on DVD.
Tuesday - Work, and then the cinema with Matty J to watch Team America. Quite funny in places but not what I expected. Probably only give it 2 starts out of 5, just too many random jokes.
Wednesday - late night but booked a half day, as really tired as finding it hard to sleep at night. Came home, had a lie down, Bolan popped over for a chat. Hadn't seem him for ages so it was good to chat films!! Then watched Exeter vs Man united which was interesting.
Thursday- Looks like I'm going to be doing some more Team leadering in work. Am having a team for 3 weeks, so will get a lot of experience and I'm looking forward to it!! Also, SLT won best team of the year at the town hall, thanks to a nomination by me!! Hooray! Went to football afterwards and was absolutely knackered, but didn't have work on Friday!! Watched Home Alone and then went bed.
Friday - Slept!! Caught up with some much needed sleep. Just bummed around the house till James got back and we both and went to get our hair cuts. Then I had some grub and popped off to Matty J's house. Started drinking straight away and Vodka shots were soon being cracked open. Off to the Claude where we met Gemma and Emma. Some evil wine shots and then off into the Philly. Well, Matt and Don screwed me over playing drinking games and I was wrecked. Don popped off to meet someone so me and Matt went downstairs and had a dance. Then, I saw Andrea. It was cool we chatted for a long time. She seems to be getting on ok. At this point, I can't really remember much else or nothing to do with the ride home. Got home on my own at about 1.30 - 2??

Saturday - Tsunami concert day. Felt ok considering last nights excusrions, but the hangover soon reared its ugly head when I went to town. Met Darren (Arch) , Dad, Josh and Ian, and had a quick beer for getting into the stadium. The concert was great, and I do have some pictures but the quality isn't great!! The beer tent was great, you bought tickets and went to another place to just pick them up. We bought about 30 tickets and just kept drinking. The millennium stadium also had started to spell like a massive ganja smoking party. The mist above our heads was insane with everyone skinning up. The concert started with some crap unknowns and then Catherine Jenkins. Keane were next and they were awesome. Other highlights - Kelly Jones singing on his own, no band just him. The Manic's were beyond good. The 5th time I've seen them. Feeder were banging and everyone had a mad jump up and down to Buck Rogers. Lemar was good,m Craig David not bad. Heather Small - amazing voice. Charlotte Church, Brian Mcfadden, Aled Jones, Liberty X - crap. Embrace were very good, and Clapton and Jools Holland rocked the roof off at the end. Apparently, I was on TV but I'll have to take my sisters words for it! 10 pints later and the concert finished and so was I. Went home and promptly went straight to bed!!

Additional - Booked tickets to see Queen live in Sheffield. Can't wait!!

Sunday - to be cont'd.....

My little Cousin, Abbie 

What a difference a day makes!

I'm writing this on a Sunday evening cos there's balls on television and I'm too tired to do anything else, but I feel different. Why? Read on!

Tuesday - Went to the cinema in the evening and saw White noise. Utter tosh, which was a shame cos the start of it was very promising. Although, I should of known better to expect anything as it did have Michael Keaton in it! It was a ok, I suppose but the ending is really poor.
Work was fine.

Wednesday - Late night in work and went bed early as very tired, First week back in after being ill is starting to take its toll! Also, my Auntie gave birth today to my little baby cousin Abbie.

Thursday - Work was again not bad. Although I did get turned down for a job internally and I never even got an interview which I was a little bit disappointed about. But this time round, I felt something different. I didn't even think about it. I didn't react at all. I just let it pass because all of a sudden I'm feeling like I have finally stepped over that hurdle which was obstructing me getting on with being happy. I went straight to football afterwards and I found it really hard going. Coughed my guts up as the chest infection still hasn't quite finished. Came home and just chilled. Watched Phenomenon with JT. Great film, I really do love it even though it does make me want to cry hysterically!But I didn't his time round. After, Me and Nora watched Bad Education. A Spanish film about child abuse, trannies and a betrayal. Very weird. Very graphic, and slightly unpleasant, but not bad at all!!

Friday - I had a half day. I cracked on with work. Got shouted at a lot down the phone and then had to restrain myself from laughing hysterically. Some guy wasn't happen with his decision so he said 'Do you watch Little Britain?' I replied ' Yes'. He came back with 'well it sounds like a case of computer says no!'. I cracked up, made me really laugh, and then I trotted off and met me Mum. James Dad had arrived to stay for the weekend, so I had a quick hello before going into town. I took Mum to Henry's for lunch. Really nice food and a good laugh. We went shopping afterwards and I bought a present for Abbie. Went home and had a chat with Frank (James's Dad) and then got ready to go out. Bex's birthday party was down the bay, so I went to meet the gang at Bar Salt. Had a great laugh with Bex. She liked her little Tigger that I'd bought her, and the food in signor Valentino's was class. Owain turned up and everyone had a good laugh. I got home afterwards bout 11.20 and The Leavers family had descended. James's sister (Rhian) was there now to (I'd seen her shortly just before I left, but didn't really have time to even say hello). Had a few drinks and watched some Peter Kay. Got to say that Rhian is lovely, and my gobsmacked face when I saw her probably made me look like a right fool!!

Saturday- Has to go to work, but I was feeling so good about myself now, that I was ready to take over the world. Finished and came straight back for the football. Liverpool lost to the Manc's. Owain popped into the pub before he left and then I immediately went to my Uncle and Auntie's to see my new cousin. She is gorgeous! Abbie Louise Edwards. I had a cooch and was very happy holding onto her as she slept. My Uncle thought my present was great, so was chuffed with that too. Made my way back to the flat and just had a quiet evening in. Watched the Butterfly Effect and drank! Got a bit tipsy and finally went bed about 1.30 after some more Peter Kay.

Sunday - Woke up early (mainly cos Frank had woke me up) and we went to the bay (J, N and Frank) and then went to pick up Rhian before going for a great pub lunch. Frank paid which I felt a bit guilty about as I'm not even family but he insisted for being so hospitable! What can I say except cheers. We all came back to the flat for a bit, before I had to pick up Josh so he could have his new amp and I could have a cooked dinner with the folks. Rhian was looking great today and I have got to say that I've got a bit of a crush!! Nora thinks its funny.

So, I'm happy with every aspect of my life at the moment. One week after being really down because I'd been so ill and tied to the flat. Now, I feel great and I'm so positive its scary. I'm not going to let this feeling escape me, cos I got a busy week and the stadium gig at on Saturday.
Happy with myself. Wow, perhaps this year will be the year of Evans after all!!

My new guitar! Worth every penny! 

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be live forwards

Last few days have been interesting to say the least.
Sunday - I woke up about 10ish and got straight up as I didn't feel to bad at all, in fact for the first time in a while (before my illness) I felt bloody good! I made my way to the Hughes residence to meet Aimee, except she hadn't even got out of bed yet. So I spent an hour and half catching up with Katie. It was great to see her has we were always great friends in work and I do miss her a lot. As I arrived at the house, my feeling of goodness was shattered by a text from the ex. Timing couldn't of been more apt! Just as I feel good, knock me back down again. It was to do with stuff for the bank which I thought she'd sorted out ages ago, obviously not. The weirdest thing of all was that Nora had a dream that I was going to receive some contact from her. I swear she is a white witch!!

So anyway, left the Hughes and went into town. I went and bought my new guitar and amp, spent more than I thought I would but it was worth it. I love it to pieces and it looks ace in my room!! Josh sorted me out with a discount too so its all good. After this Josh met me and Aimee for a bit cos he was on lunch and then we went round a few more shops. Bumped into Matt James and Perry in town which is unusual as I never see anyone I know. Went and bought the Butterfly effect from virgin and then nipped back to Aimee's to drop her off.

Then back to town to get Josh and my guitar, then off to Rhoose to see the folks. Had a good laugh at my mums and had a wicked roast dinner. Tried out the new guitar and amp and said that Josh could have my new one and I'd have his. It was worth every penny to see his face. Just remember when your famous mate. Made my way home and some twat knocked my wing mirror off and never stopped! The run of luck continues. When I got home I watched Old School. Never seen it before and fell around laughing. Thought it was great.

Monday - Had to go to work for the first time since December 17th. Was ok actually and everyone welcomed me back. Actually had a good day. Put it this way it made a change from staying in the bloody house. When I got home I had to play on the guitar! Then I ended up watching Old School again and then School of Rock.

Films of 2004

Decided to put a bit of a different spin on this update. After returning to work today, I picked up my calendar which had the films that I had watched on it last year. So I have decided to put a review together of what was hot and what was not!!

After reading a few comments from other people in various magazines, it seemed that they thought that 2004 was a poor year for films. Well, it may have been for new films but I have managed to watch quite a lot of decent films.

This list is the 5 star films that were released in 2004. I saw all of these at the cinema and in my opinion were worthy of top rating.

Lost in Translation - Beautiful film where nothing actually happens. The relationship that blossoms is amazing, and this film makes we want to visit Japan even more. My second favorite film of the year. I can't fault it in anyway. I know a lot of people who have seen this and it has gone over their head. It's a shame cos its about real life and something we all fear, loneliness.

The Last Samurai - Tom Cruise kicking ass. Not the big war film it was billed as, but a beautifully crafted film which understands the backbone of Japanese society. Respect, loyalty and trust. Great fight scenes, but also a real look at a completely different culture. Stand out moment is the fight scene that ends in a draw.

Eternal sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Best film of the year. Jim Carrey puts in the performance of a lifetime. Kate winslet is superb. The story is so out there, yet so true and deeply personal for anyone that has been through a relationship break up. Please see this film if you haven't, as it will make you think really hard and I'm talking days after!!

Hero - Jet Li. Amazing action. A great story. Beautiful images and cinematography to die for. Needs a repeat viewing, roll on the DVD launch!

Bourne Supremacy- A sequel that beats the first film. Matt Damon as the only spy in History who actually thinks instead of using stupid gadgets and a car chase that creams any other! Beyond clever and any film that injures its main star half way through the film and makes him limp for the rest of it is great. James Bond, who the hell's James Bond.

I, Robot - Will Smith in the only summer blockbuster that delivered. Very similar in tone to Minority Report and equally as clever. The second time I watched this I thought it was even better than the first time.

School of Rock - Hilarious, has to be watched numerous times to pick up on everything and Jack Black rocks even when he's not at 100%!!!

Football Factory - viciously violent but morally tragic. Plus a British film!!!

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - Jim Carrey again in the darkest kids film I've ever seen. Will need to a repeat viewing to pick up on some of the more clever points. A kids film where the majority of the cast die!! Bring on the sequel!

The rest of this list are films that I have borrowed or bought and watched last year!
American History X - Wow! Kerb sandwich anyone?
Kids - The realest film ever - Not for the faint hearted.
A Bronx Tale - De Niro's directorial debut
Finding Nemo - Pixar nail it again.
Irreversible - French, freaky and damn complicated!
Tigerland - Colin Farrell's breakthrough.
Amores Perros - 3 stories, over lapping, reality!
Spirited Away - Japanese, animated, damn weird!
21 Grams - Oscar winning, complicated and a bit scary!!

As for shit films, don't ever watch these -
Four Rooms - Contender for worst film ever
Hellboy - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Godsend - De Niro, what were you thinking?
Secret Window - Predictable, Stephen King, Crap
Starsky and Hutch - Walked out of cinema for first time ever
Dreamcatcher - Awful, awful, awful, Stephen King, Crap

HBOS PARTY 

Burn Baby Burn Disco Inferno!

The Ball! The day had finally arrived.
I was picked up from my house at about 5 by Owain. I was already suited and booted, but Owain wanted to watch the rugby over the Albany so I had to go and sit in the pub like a right tit. Anyway, the rugby was alright and we soon made our way to the Potter's residence.

Steve and Potter were ready and watching the Plymouth Argyle match, so Owain had to get ready. Well, the cameras soon appeared and the gang had bought thongs from H and M, and had to get them in every photo that was taken. Juvenile but damn amusing. The taxi soon arrived and dropped us to Jury's where we meet the rest of the rabble. Near enough straight into the CIA and the place looked good. Moulin rouge stylee! We managed to get a table right near the food which was a bonus and the hilarity commenced. The free wine flowed, shame the food was rubbish.

The entertainment started and the Moulin rouge dancers were on stage, and a great Nicole Kidman look-a-like performed a few songs from the film. The Potter brothers at this point had decided to get all made up and the eye lash extensions and lipstick made them look great!

I started to wander at this point and said hello to the usual lot. Matt J looked great with his scarf look. Perry was happy as Larry (Who's Larry?), don looked good in his Kilt. BBM wasn't wrecked, Rob was battered beyond belief. Becky looked fantastic and everyone else seemed to be having a great time. The real band started and played some great 70's stuff and the dance floor soon filled up. The chocolate fountains started to get the ladies excited, and the bucking camel soon had punters queuing up.

Andrew was a bit pre-occupied with a certain milf and Steve entertained me for a slow dance which certainly turned a few heads! This one girls face was fantastic, and I think she was really quite scared. Steve just pissed himself laughing. After the band, a cabaret guy came on and sang for quite a while and although he was fairly cheesy it was pretty good. At this point, the dancing was reaching Disco Inferno proportions. When the DJ came on, a dance off beckoned and I was first into the circle to make a complete arse of myself. Karen's boyfriend Pete then did the splits, Potter did a Dad dance, Steve did some break dancing and Aarti just laughed at us all! I managed to get a magic wand from somewhere and I did spank a few people (Apologies to RT!).

The night was drawing to an end, and the lights soon came up but not before Dolph managed to trick me twice with the 'what's that?' trick. I felt like a fool. Rich Hanner just laughed.

Well, Owain and the Potter bros left the building and we were picked up by Owain's sister. Finally got home bout 3 ish and I had a great time! THE PHOTOS ARE HERE!!!!!

Bit of a kurfuffle 

I hope I'm old before I die, I hope I live to see the day the pope gets high

Friday was a bit of a kurfuffle, but the tickets were sorted and I came home and watched A Tale of Two Sisters. This film freaked me out, and it is quite complicated so I think it deserves a second viewing.

during this film, I had a surprise phone call from a Mr Andrew Potter. The second half of the Cock and Sock Connection! He's arriving in Cardiff so I agreed to meet up with him later in Spin. Had been speaking to Owain all day and he was arriving later on.

So got to Spin bout quarter past nine and it was good to Po after his tour around the globe. Owain arrived and I had a wicked time and it really did cheer me up after the depressive jailing of me to the flat due to illness for the last 3 or more weeks. Must be doing a bit better too, as I saw a girl who I thought was stunning. As soon as I saw her, I was like wow. I did have a brief chat with her but situations weren't ideal to ask the killer question. This is the first time that I have really seen a girl and been blown away for a very long time, and I couldn't get her out of my head when I got home. Unfortunate, because I'll probably never see her again!!!

Dreams are troublesome at the moment, probably because all of a sudden I have started dreaming again. On Thursday night, I think I had about 3 or 4 dreams that I can remember. Last night, I had another couple, which also included a troublesome one too. Perhaps I've been dwelling on the past too much recently and that's why. Anyway, got the ball tonight in the CIA and I return to work with a vengeance on Monday so hopefully I can kick start 2005!

See you all tonight!

Choose life Choose a big Television

Went work and was sent home as your not allowed to work if the doctor as signed you off! Insurance reasons apparently.

Cinders will go to the ball though as a phone call from work indicated that i could pick up my tickets from the bay! i trotted down there and met Jo Mcmullen and finally exchanged presents! She got 'A tale of two sisters' Asain horror at its best! Looking forward to watching that this afternoon!

Will try to be creative today, have written one and a half songs in the last day. Just waiting for Josh to get some music together now. Also, need to finish my first film script so I can start on the better second one! Ideas are formed but time constraints and general demotivation has stopped progression. Have also noticed that I tend to use an excessive amount of exclamation marks in my blogs. Note to self to try to stop this, as everything is not funny! DAMN IT!!!! Oh god.........

New names? No ideas as yet, can't really think of anything and might just leave it as it is. On a brighter note, the very short amount of time that I was present and correct in work this morning, I managed to see a few people who cheered me up. Perry was great and he loved the photo of the boys xmas party!

Somewhere only we know

Bad day..........Very bad day.

Yesterday wasn't great, managed to perk up in the evening a bit but the loneliness has finally hit me. Can't handle being in this flat anymore, can't handle being ill anymore. I've been ill now for quite a long time and man it's got to me. No one has been in the flat for the last two days, and I've tried to keep busy but even stuff you enjoy becomes boring. My fingers are swollen from trying to play the guitar too much. Have watched a few films, but not really concentrated on them. Watched assassins yesterday, hadn't seen it in ages. The antibiotics are starting to take effect, but I have to return to work tomorrow for a couple of reasons.

1) I have to get out of the flat! Work sees like a viable option as at least there are some familiar faces.
2) If I don't go to work tomorrow apparently I can't get the ball tickets and then no one will be going! Well, red tape surrounds us again!

Today's been tough, have cried a fair bit. Then its impossible to say why. People ask and I say I don't know. Oh it will all be alright says my mum. How does she know? At this moment in time it feels like nothing will ever be ok again, but I can't explain it to her so she can't understand anyway. Well, life's crap but what's new. Well apparently its a new year! 6 days in and I've had enough of it already. Watched Cocktail today, cheered me up slightly! It's a hippy hippy shake!
Then watched Trainspotting! Whoops! Perhaps should of left that one today! Anyway, nearly the weekend and it all starts again, perhaps I do need to set some goals and objectives and make sure they happen by myself. Plausible option?

Also, mentioned that I might name the blog as the life begins at 23 name seems to of run its course and isn't really viable anymore. Plus everyone gets sick of typing the address!! Any ideas are welcome!

Beach boys greatest hits

On Sunday the 2nd of January, what happened? Not much as it turned out!
Josh was in work so I was a taxi, picking him up and dropping him off (in reverse order obviously). I stayed at home and basically did naff all, was very tired though if I remember correctly! Got Josh and came home, messed around on the PS2 and the pc etc. Watched a film called Straw Dogs. Apparently the most controversial film ever made by the British film Industry. I have to say that this statement is a little far fetched. Banned at a time when videos had just came out and repeated viewings of violence would apparently make you want to stab your mates. The violence is quite harsh but dated. The rape scene is nothing compared to the likes of Irreversible. My brother described it as an adult version of Home alone. I kid you not, it is!! It's worth a watch but not expect the most disturbing film ever made, go watch Kids instead.

Josh was in work on Monday too, so I again was taxi man. Watched The goonies in the afternoon and played the guitar a lot. I then made a trek into town to have a look around. Had that awful feeling when you can't remember if you just left your keys at home or you lost them, so ended up buying 50 First dates on DVD! I know that I only saw this film a couple of weeks ago, but I really love this film. It's really clever and the ending makes me feel warm inside!! A Big softy I know! Anyway, we walked home from town and ended up watching Aladdin. Before watching 50 First dates!!!!

Tuesday - I was feeling a little rough again so we got up late, sorted some of Josh's stuff out and then had a bit of a tidy up before going into town. We went to the cinema to watch National Treasure. Great old skool film! I loved it and the 2 hours ten minutes flew by! Walked home afterwards and then immediately packed Josh's stuff into the car and drove to Rhoose. Mum had cooked me a roast dinner! Hooray! I was feeling like crap now so I watched a Peter Kay DVD and then drove home. James had had some bad news so all in all not a great day. I tried to go to sleep but I was having trouble breathing now so I kept waking up.

Wednesday - Went to work but lasted about 10 minutes and felt like crap so went to the doctors. Got a bloody chest infection now so coughing up some right crap and constrained to the house again! Can anyone be this unlucky! Obviously, they can! Came home and just watched t.v that's all I can be motivated to do at the moment!

The End in The End

2004 has come to an End and the first blog of this New Year will take a slightly serious tone I'm afraid. I'll get the events out of the way first!

Thursday - Got up at 8 so I could drop Josh to work! As soon as I got back I started and finished a job application and then played on the guitar and the PS2! Everyone was in work today except me so it was pretty boring!Picked Josh up at 6 and we came back to the house. Didn't do much really except try to finish off the PS2 game we'd rented out.

Friday - Same as above but when Josh finished at 4.30, I picked him up and we went to get some beers. Came back to the flat and started drinking. The New Years plans had been a wash out because nobody was around or couldn't be arsed to go out. It seems that New Years is old hat! Josh didn't have anything else to do either so he stayed here. I lent Josh some clothes and tried to make him look a little older, and then we left to go to the Woodville. James drove and we left the car there, but The Woody were a bit funny with Josh so we left straight away. Then we wandered to Gazzy Jacks. Students only! Then we looked over at the End. I hadn't been here for ages and I really didn't think Josh would get in, but he did and the beverages soon gathered pace. We actually managed to get a table and continued to drinking. I went to the bar to get some drinks and when I came back it looked like someone was trying to nick my seat! Well, it only turned out to be Owzy-O! Unbelievable! Well, he came and joined us and the drinks still flowed until the inevitable countdown and Auld Lang Syne's was echoed around the country. There's loads of photos on The Son of....... Check them out! It was then a quick wander home where food was cooked and more beers were drunk while watching Peter Kay! A real good night that came from no where!

So Saturday Jan 1st! Busy today! I still can't believe that I did this all in one day! We Woke up about 11 and got dressed and was ready to go over the pub to watch Liverpool vs Chelsea, except the pub wasn't bloody open yet! Never mind, off down Albany road. Rented out the Prince of Persia game again as we never finished it and also bought Welcome to the Jungle! The Rock kicks ass in this film! Then after Liverpool had lost we returned to the flat. We watched Waynes World 1 and 2 and Welcome to the Jungle. Played on the PS2 and finished off the game! Played Countdown and Simpsons Cluedo. Cooked a Pasta Bake, played on the guitar and then rounded it off by finally watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Now, I watched this film after me and Andrea had gone through a rough patch in March time. This movie really opened my eyes to a few things and I wish I knew then what I knew now. This film is without a doubt the best film I've seen in 2004 (although Lost in Translation is very close). It's so real and raw that I bought this DVD 4 months ago when I split with her, and only yesterday did I feel as if I wanted to watch it. It was really hard work to watch, and at times it mirrored so many of my feelings that knew exactly how Jim Carrey felt. Please go watch this film. If you've got an emotional bone in your body and you've ever been through a break up, I guarantee you, you will love this film and if not I'll give you your money back!!!

As most of you know 2004 hasn't been the best year for me. My Gramps had to have a heart bypass, the car nearly blew up, Andrea left, the DVD and fridge packed up in the same week, I had to move house, cope with being flicked around work and being turned down for every job I applied, and finally just to top it off I had the mumps for Xmas. The only thing that the Mumps did was keep my mind off the fact that Christmas eve would of been my 3 year anniversary. The pain was worth bothering about a lot than that. Most people have said that they can't believe how well I've done in the last 4 months, but I still feel that something is lacking in my life at the moment. I couldn't tell you what it is, and its not necessarily a women either. I need to make myself believe in me again, cos at the moment I can't. I have no reason to hate myself, yet part of me does and that's why 2005 will be the year when I finally achieve something that I want to achieve. It's been very hard, and I have to admit that I did put a brave face on for Xmas, and deep down inside I was hurting. Watching Eternal Sunshine has showed me that, even though I've been through this, it obviously wasn't the right path to take. But, I need those memories or at least some of them to be able to move on, and just deleting the last 3 years wouldn't accomplish anything. So, its 2005 and I can finally say good bye to the worst year of my life and try to make a new start where I can take over the world!! Thanks to everyone for their love and support, I wouldn't of made it through it without you.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned - Alexander Pope