From right on top to straight back down
Oh dear, what has happened to me this weekend. From being mega happy and intent on having a good time without past memories ruining what I think life should be, it all came back to haunt me.
You can probably tell already that this update is going to be very different from the jovial brightness of the previous post, and there is no simple explanation for this. Friday was a day off, and the evening was a quiet night out. I went round to Matt J's house at about 6 and we got some beers in and played on the PS2 intill we finally got a taxi about 10.15. We got into town and went straight to the Gatekeeper where we had a few drinks and then went onto Edwards. We weren't in there long before SHE arrived with her sister and 2 older men. Her sister gestured towards me so I waved in a civil manner and moved upstairs to get some distance. Now, having not seen her for 3 weeks, and then bumping into didn't really feel that bad. Now, the comment I'll make next may be construed as me being a bitter bastard but this isn't the case. She walked in, and my first reaction was what does she look like? Any, part of me that used to find her attractive has died, perhaps because I've now realized how nasty she can be. Anyway, me and Matt moved hastily on, but we didn't realize that they've already left. We went straight to the Philly as we were meeting people there and guess who'd decided to go there too!!! She walked past me and I made an effort to try to catch her eye and I just wanted to say hello and be civil to her face. I wasn't given the chance as she ignored me and moved on upstairs with the two old blokes!! Now, as I don't want to get back with her and I didn't find her attractive, why the big deal? To this question, I do not have an answer. I feel that as soon as I saw her all the confidence that I had built up over the last couple of weeks had disappeared and I just wanted to go home. We stayed for a while longer and had a chat with a few people before getting a taxi home. My head was pretty messed up and I didn't sleep well at all, and Saturday I was quite down.
So, I didn't do much at all Saturday day. I just waited for Rob Ahearne to make an appearance and we started drinking for the fancy dress party in town. I was a gangster and Rob was Zorro but all the women in town thought he was Batman! I found it funny he didn't! We went to the Gatekeeper and then the Walkabout for a few drinks before the party. The Walkabout didn't disappoint again, as like last week I had a wicked time in there. A group of women were dressed as gangsters so they immediately wanted me to join there gang for photos etc. I got chatting to a really nice girl called Nic and a good time was being had by all. It was getting a bit late now and we needed to get to the party so we made an exit and went to Sugar.
The party was ok, but I only knew about 5 people and I'd sobered up and was getting to a point when instead of having a good time, I wanted to go home. I chatted away to a few peeps and the atmosphere in the party was good but there wasn't any music and very few women so we decided to make move. Unfortunately, everywhere else now had queues about 5 miles long so we wandered around before giving up and going home. I got a taxi and James was still awake so we had a chill out and watched Die Hard with a vengeance! Got to bed about 2.30 and slept slightly better.
Sunday morning and I still feel quite nervous about things. It's a horrid feeling when you do not want to feel like this and there is no reason for it, but you still do. I got up about 12 and went running around Roath park. I Felt really good and after running for about a mile, I realized I needed to slow down as I was running at 5 minute mile pace!! I blasted a couple of laps and retired to the flat where I tried to recover and await the footy later on today. Hope I can break myself out of this rut, and have another good week. Got a party on Friday with work and Grizzly is coming down from Port Talbot. Should be meeting Louise one night, cinema club another so quite busy..........Perhaps it will be alright after all!!!
You can probably tell already that this update is going to be very different from the jovial brightness of the previous post, and there is no simple explanation for this. Friday was a day off, and the evening was a quiet night out. I went round to Matt J's house at about 6 and we got some beers in and played on the PS2 intill we finally got a taxi about 10.15. We got into town and went straight to the Gatekeeper where we had a few drinks and then went onto Edwards. We weren't in there long before SHE arrived with her sister and 2 older men. Her sister gestured towards me so I waved in a civil manner and moved upstairs to get some distance. Now, having not seen her for 3 weeks, and then bumping into didn't really feel that bad. Now, the comment I'll make next may be construed as me being a bitter bastard but this isn't the case. She walked in, and my first reaction was what does she look like? Any, part of me that used to find her attractive has died, perhaps because I've now realized how nasty she can be. Anyway, me and Matt moved hastily on, but we didn't realize that they've already left. We went straight to the Philly as we were meeting people there and guess who'd decided to go there too!!! She walked past me and I made an effort to try to catch her eye and I just wanted to say hello and be civil to her face. I wasn't given the chance as she ignored me and moved on upstairs with the two old blokes!! Now, as I don't want to get back with her and I didn't find her attractive, why the big deal? To this question, I do not have an answer. I feel that as soon as I saw her all the confidence that I had built up over the last couple of weeks had disappeared and I just wanted to go home. We stayed for a while longer and had a chat with a few people before getting a taxi home. My head was pretty messed up and I didn't sleep well at all, and Saturday I was quite down.
So, I didn't do much at all Saturday day. I just waited for Rob Ahearne to make an appearance and we started drinking for the fancy dress party in town. I was a gangster and Rob was Zorro but all the women in town thought he was Batman! I found it funny he didn't! We went to the Gatekeeper and then the Walkabout for a few drinks before the party. The Walkabout didn't disappoint again, as like last week I had a wicked time in there. A group of women were dressed as gangsters so they immediately wanted me to join there gang for photos etc. I got chatting to a really nice girl called Nic and a good time was being had by all. It was getting a bit late now and we needed to get to the party so we made an exit and went to Sugar.
The party was ok, but I only knew about 5 people and I'd sobered up and was getting to a point when instead of having a good time, I wanted to go home. I chatted away to a few peeps and the atmosphere in the party was good but there wasn't any music and very few women so we decided to make move. Unfortunately, everywhere else now had queues about 5 miles long so we wandered around before giving up and going home. I got a taxi and James was still awake so we had a chill out and watched Die Hard with a vengeance! Got to bed about 2.30 and slept slightly better.
Sunday morning and I still feel quite nervous about things. It's a horrid feeling when you do not want to feel like this and there is no reason for it, but you still do. I got up about 12 and went running around Roath park. I Felt really good and after running for about a mile, I realized I needed to slow down as I was running at 5 minute mile pace!! I blasted a couple of laps and retired to the flat where I tried to recover and await the footy later on today. Hope I can break myself out of this rut, and have another good week. Got a party on Friday with work and Grizzly is coming down from Port Talbot. Should be meeting Louise one night, cinema club another so quite busy..........Perhaps it will be alright after all!!!
posted by gav the hardcore legend at 6:23 AM
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